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You ChooseI'm sorry honey, please don't weep
I made a promise I can't keep
Now hush darling it'll be okay
You have so much to live for, please one more day
A little girl, playing near the well
Would you be able to forgive yourself if that little girl fell?
A guitar, staying nearby
Won't you give that song a try?
Fall asleep and wake up crying
But babe is that really worth dying?
I told you I'm fine but that's not all true
Truth be told I'm dying without you
If I leave you now
It's really just a matter of how
I told you I'd be okay
But babe I can't take another day
Please for me
Please try to stay, to see
I'm weak, but you're so strong
Realize that following my example is wrong
Put down the gun
Stand in the rain and try out the sun
Don't try to forget me
But don't let yourself miss me
Remember that it's you I love
I just couldn't take another hit, the extra shove
You're not to blame
I'm the one with all the shame
Just promise me when you wake and I'm gone tomorrow
Don't let my example be the one
The HospitalThe walls keep closing in
Such a frightening surprise
The ceiling's coming down
What an unpleasant demise
The filter's barely running
Is there no water or is it just me
The doorbell keeps ringing
Wonder who that could be
The ground is getting closer
I reach but fall anyway
The air is slowly seeping
Through the cracks and into the hallway
The breaths keep getting shorter
I feel a buckle in my knee
The coughing keeps getting harder
Now is that blood I see
The paramedics say calm down
But I know there's no point in fighting
The lights are mixing with the sound
Now from night into white-lighting
The walls come at me from all directions
Another turn, here we go again
The breaths won't come anymore
And now here we go, one more spin
The coughs are choking
Blood is everywhere
The glass is breaking
Oh god this isn't fair
The footsteps are pounding
Are they coming near or going there
The pain is unrelenting
Is that bright light growing, dear
The morphine won't kick in
Is it night or is it day
Whats this play called again?They say hold it together honey
But I'm falling apart
They say play it safe
But I gave you my heart
They tell me lies
Like the promises you will never keep
They tell me things
Like how to not take that leap
They whisper words in my ear
And tell me not to trust you
They shout again at me
And tell me how I'm wrong to choose you
They ask me questions
But I don't have an answer
They ask me things
But they might as well be spreading the cancer
They push in needles
Feel the morphine drip
They inject poison
Feel the numbing in every fingertip
They think they're helping
But I'm just getting worse
They think everything's fine
But someone help me, things aren't going as rehearsed
CommasNever mind the goodbye,
It's much harder than hello.
Never mind the goodbye,
I don't want it to be so.
Never mind the goodbye,
I don't want this to end.
Never mind the goodbye,
This isn't a come-and-go trend.
WantI want to be your first thought in the morning,
Your last thought at night.
I want to be your favourite hello,
And the one to whom you never want to say goodbye.
I want to look at your words,
And know that they're for me.
I want to read your lips,
And not have this doubt in the things you say.
I want to be your shoulder to cry on,
To be your strength when you're torn and weak.
I want to be your light in the dark,
To hold you close when you feel alone.
I want to be the reason for your smile,
The one that isn't forced.
I want to be the light in your eyes,
The one that never burns out.
I want to be your reason,
Selfish as it may seem.
I want to be your only one,
I want you to love me.
Where Am I?I'm lost
Everything I've ever had
All I am
My heartbeat stills
Yet the water still ripples
As I sink to the ocean floor
My cries are drowned out
For the yelling will not cease
My voice is gone
For no one's here to listen
My words aren't lies
But no one believes me
I sit here in silence
Watching it all turn to ashes
A place so broken
A time so still
It all ends with the beginnings
As heaven mixes to form hell
Plaid Dresses, Rainbow HeartsShe drew rainbow hearts across rain-soaked pavement
Hoping they wouldn't get washed away.
But each time the second half was drawn
The rainclouds would come out to play
She believed in a world of fearies
Sat for hours hanging paper hearts
Not on her sleeve but on her wall
Just to see them torn, bound to fall
She laughed at the horror movies
Shuddered at the mention of the grim reaper's name
She cut just deep enough
To forget how close to her skin her mother held the flame
She ironed her hair
Or left it a curly mess
She danced in the rain
And wore jeans under her dress
With sharpie ink
She'd line scarves
And to her skin went a blade
Trying to forget with each letter she'd carve
She smiled at the smell
Of wet leaves on an autumn day
She fronted a carefree life
Of wishing her problems away
She forgot the stories
Her grandfather told
She remembered the nightmares
In which her fears would unfold
She closed her eyes
At the sound of an infant's wail
She tried to drown out thoughts
With no avai
To lifeTo the relenting lover
Do you realize the position you put yourself in
Each love comes on so strong
Yet dies, leaving you weak
They spare not a thought for you
The words that haunt you are the words you are so quick to speak
To the dying child
Look what you've done
You've brought comfort
With arms too small to wrap around
And a laugh that tugs on each heart
You cry and to words they listen
Every time your heartbeat weakens they fall apart
To the fighting couple
Listen to yourselves grow louder
See your child shaking
Needing to be held
Your little girl wants to know it'll be okay
But every word you toss
Every object you throw
Seeing your love torn apart
Leaves her crying, screaming into her tear-soaked pillow
To the lonely widow
Look around you
You think you're so alone
So lost with no one to turn to
Do you see how you've chased away
Every friend you ever made
They reach out
And you draw further in
Shoving them away
Until they're too weak, too tired to try again
To the person lying in t
Dyed WaxWhy? Why do you hate colouring?
What do you mean why? I can never keep the dyed wax within the lines, i always go just outside, dipping my toes into the deep end only to hear the lifeguard's whistle bringing me back to reality.
But what about the cigarettes, why do burn marks line your hip?
The incineration brings me to life, the ashes scar my skin to remind me that pain exists, you just have to learn to feel it.
And the razor?
What about it? The sweet feel of the metal pressing slow then quick, it brings sweet release, it leaves scars to scrub away with days of sponges and scar cream. The razor helps more than anything.
They take me higher, take me far away, take me to a new level of life where no one can touch me, no one. Dont you dare call me a druggie. But i wont deny that i'm an addict to living on the edge.
Why do you do it? Why don't you give in to sleep?
I lie awake because even as sleep tugs on my sleeve I scream so i lie awake with thoughts creeping in,
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
My School Says I'm Worthless (sort of a rant)I'm a criminal because my values aren't their values
And I'm scum to say the least
Because I'm not on their list
Ones who have their lives set out
And drink from molten glory raining down from
School top balconies...
And I have myself left to blame for all the non-attempts
And truancies; the bleak distractions
That help me escape the inviolable test-score stares
Of disapproval that I attract from their
And they're forced to ask me 'Why?
Why are you still here?'
And I can barely say
That I'm afraid to leave.
That I know that no-one knows
Or what they want to be
But unlike those
I gave up
A while ago
And they can't tell me to my face that I'm a failure so they heavily imply
That my lacking presence
And even less impressive
Tendency for slacking off is evidence
That I am stupid and a fool and nothing more than such a waste of resources
And it's a disappointment
That I don't hold their ideals
VesselYour heart is a compass.
Broken, perhaps, but I know
It’s always searching for the North Star.
Which way will your beard point tonight?
DanielYou are vertebrae
reinforced with titanium
that does not make you the lesser -
You’ve got the weight of the world
on one shoulder
sometimes you trip because of it -
you’re still walking
and if things fused wrong
post or anterior
and if things fused out in the interior
your circuits live on
and if your thoughts get circular
or so do your moods
and your mind blanks and you forget -
you’re nervous but strong -
then I’ll remind you.
Because you give me
the backbone required
you’re my Atlas, so I lift my head,
you’re my axis, so I can face the future
because you are vertebrae
reinforced with titanium.
You’re my inner strength.
FallingFailure after failure
A life not worth living
Lost in my misery
Long gone are the good moments
I keep falling
Nothing can save me now
Gone my hopes are
Because He'sHe’s listening
Millions of them.
A flash of red
And a navy hat
No warning – now motionless
With skin turned to shadows.
Let me....Flick on the lighter
Turn up the volume
Let me feel the base
In every step, every breath
Once i cant tell up from down
Left from right
Let me lean on you
For a moment, for a day
When night falls
Or suns rise
Let me take it in
If only for remembrance, a memory
If the world becomes too much
And i stagger, slip, and fall
Let me go
My hand out of your grasp, your everything gone
Keep in Touch!